Hot Beans Delivers… Coming Soon!

Greetings friends and lovers. We wanted to let you know about our upcoming show called “Hot Beans Delivers”! We’re still putting the finishing touches on it (Ok, that’s not really true. We probably only have 1/4 of it written, but we are making progress…) as we speak.

We’d love to see each of you who made it out to our previous shows (Hot Beans and Chuck & Hot Beans in Love) at this one, and if you’re one of the several billion people who never saw the first two shows… boy are you in for a treat.

You can find all the info you need about the upcoming show on our website, and don’t forget to visit often as we’ll be regularly writing super funny stuff. Just like this:

What do you call a parrot wearing a raincoat? Polly Unsaturated!

Talk to you soon,

Benji & Frankie

Hot Beans in Love – Closing Night Show Recap

Thus ends an era. A very brief 5 week era, but an era non the less. Hot Beans in Love has come to an end, but for 5 weeks humankind was treated to rousing renditions of their favorite songs with a sprinkle of comedy, a dash of sass, a smidgen of slightly offensive fun and a generous helpin’ of Hot Beans. It was guaranteed to be Hot n’ spicy, and it was!

Thanks to everyone who made it out during our run. You were all a great audience and Frankie and I had a great time performing for you. We’ve appreciated the kind words about our show, and especially those of you who came back a second time and brought friends.

Below are some pictures of our last show experience. Hope you enjoy them, and that someday in the future Benji and Frankie will make a triumphant return to the stage.

Before

Before the show in the Green Room (that’s fancy for “backstage”)

A groundbreaking self photograph only minutes before show time!

Frankie Beans taking her “medicine” before the show.

Benji primping his ’stache before the show

During

Frankie Beans: Triple Threat. Actor, Singer, Pregnant.

Benji singing his “Safe Sexperience” abstinence songs.

Frankie and Benji accepting a 18 min. curtain call.

After

Death of a Mustache. A moment of silence, please.

Freedom! Ah, so much better, just ask the wife. Also, check out our list of Best Mustaches of All-Time.

Live without regret! Come to closing night!

Do you have any life regrets? Do you have more than one? If so this means you might be doing something wrong with your life.

Too many people put off something that brings them joy, or fail to see the opportunity to experience joy. They use reasoning like: they haven’t thought about it, don’t have it on their schedule, didn’t know it was coming or they decided to be a putz and stay home to watch Quantum Leap reruns.

Somebody once said “Each regret you die with ends up eating your soul”. I believe that was me. Pretty good, huh? So don’t end up 6 feet under in the “bye bye box” with these regrets chompin’ on your soul.

1. Finding out your spouse is a distant cousin.
2. Stepping on the crack that broke your mother’s back.
3. You never did get those magic posters that you stare at to work.
4. Wasted life savings on Hillary Nutcracker business.
5. Didn’t try hard enough to be pretty.
6. Realized far too late that everyone can tell you’re wearing a toupee.
7. The “Nick & Jessica” tattoo on the small of your back.
8. Discovering that cats don’t always land on their feet.
9. Reading this lame regret list.
10. Failure to see the closing night of the highly reviewed Hot Beans in Love, playing Wednesday, April 30th @ 8pm. (more details that will save your soul from being eaten alive)

Mustache Hall of Fame

The dictionary defines mustache as ” The hair growing on the human upper lip, especially when cultivated and groomed”. But it is so much more than that. It represents power, manliness, fashion and an attitude that screams “Look at this thing on my face!”

As you can see I, Benji Nelson, have been sporting a class A mustache (or moustache as the French would say) for a while now. But the question is why do I choose to grow this pushbroom, soupstrainer, cookieduster, nose neighbor, flavor saver or mouth brow as they call it? The simple answer is that I examined that greatest men on earth, and do you know what they had in common? Yes, that’s right, the famed mustache.

So I would now like to introduce you to my heroes. My Mustache Hall of Fame:

For more information you can visit the American Mustache Institute.

As you are inspired, please add to this list of legendary mustache men. If you have a legendary mustache, let us know, we’ll add you to the list.

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Souls

Some Native American tribes believed that if their picture was taken it would steal their soul. Most likely they were right. Does that make Laura Birkey the Grimm Reaper? Perhaps, but Frankie and I were willing to take the risk.

We hired Laura to take photos of us on our Honeymoon Day in the North Riverside Mall, and it was a magical experience. If you visit Laura Birkey Photography, you can find some of the photos she took of us. Laura also does fabulous photography for weddings, family and child portraits, parties, events and brises.

So please take a look around. Laura has promised to not steal your soul… at least until she takes your picture.

TV’s Greatest Theme Songs

Over the past 250 years, there have been some great TV theme songs. Songs that sweep you up, and bring you back to the days of yester yore. Some of Frankie and my favorites are Growing Pains, MacGuyver, Dukes of Hazard, Gimme a Break and Family Ties. With Family Ties being king of the crop.

If you are a Family Ties fan like we are, you can get your fill at Family Ties Online. I’ve also posted the lyrics to the theme song below. So what about you? What are your favorite TV theme songs?

Without Us
Sung by: Johnny Mathis and Deniece Williams
Music by: Tom Scott
Lyrics by: Jeff Barry

I bet we’ve been together for a million years
And I’ll bet we’ll be together for a million more
Oh, it’s like I started breathing on the night we kissed
And I can’t remember what I ever did before

What would we do, baby, without us?
What would we do, baby, without us?
And there ain’t no nothing we can’t love each other through
What would we do, baby, without us?
Sha-la-la-la

10 Secrets to a Happy Marriage

Love. Two simple words that make the world go ’round. Love. No matter what language you say it in, it’s pronounced differently. Love. The fuel that can keep your marriage tank full.

Now, I don’t mean to boast, but I’ve learned a few things along that way. A few things that can help you keep your marriage as strong ours is. So below are some thoughts, gleanings and other tidbits that might have your spouse saying “Hello Nurse!”.

1. Take time everyday to brush your spouse’s hair. It’s really quite lovely.

2. Go to the grocery store together and buy a delicious peach. Then give that peach to the homeless man sitting on the corner.

3. Ignore the previous point. It apparently isn’t very effective.

4. Cook your Love a special meal once a month. Remember to prepare a meal your mate will enjoy, even if it’s disgusting.

5. Pretend to be interested in your spouse’s hobbies by asking them detailed questions that will get them ‘jazzed up’.

6. Music is the language of the soul. Try slipping the soundtrack to “The English Patient” into your lover’s portable CD player before their next jog.

7. Once a week your spouse should get the night off when it comes to meal preparations. Take him/her to the food court of your local mall. Tell them it’s your “second honeymoon”.

8. Get your back waxed. Seriously, that’s just gross.

9. Surprise them with a pregnancy by sabotaging their birth control. Bet they didn’t see that one coming!

10. Come and see “Hot Beans in Love” each Wednesday in April. We guarantee we’ll put the fire back in your loins!

Bustin’ Makes Me Feel Good!

The year is 1984. What type of event, movement or cause could possibly bring together the likes of Chevy Chase, John Candy, Dana Plato, Jeffrey Tambor, George Wendt, Al Fraken, Danny DeVito, Carly Simon and Peter Falk? Could it be AIDS? Homelessness? Drought in Africa?

No my friends. It was the amazing Ghostbusters movie. (A movie unscrupulously overlooked by the Academy) That’s right, Ghostbusters was so big, that all those stars joined in on the making of this legendary video. And they were right to do so.

Oh, how I long for the days of Reagan, stonewashed jeans, Mary Lou Retton, New Coke and a simpler, purer time in the world. Enjoy the video.

Your Video Invitation

Well hello [insert your name here],
You are invited to our magical production: “Hot Beans in Love”, a comedic cabaret playing at Davenport’s in April. Consider this your personal invitation. Join us won’t you?

Hot Beans in Love, the blog

Hello, Chicago! Benji Nelson here. Yep, that’s me off to the right looking pretty snazzy. There’s nothing like tight fittin’ jeans, white tennies and a snappy shirt over a turtle-neck.

Anywho, welcome to Hot Beans in Love, the blog! This is my first time bloggering, so hang in there as I’m still getting used to the Interweb. Frankie, my lovely wife, and I will try and post here a couple of times a week. We’ve got oh so much to say!

Of course the reason you are here is to learn all about our new show “Hot Beans in Love”! If you happen to use the MySpaces, then you can check us out there as well. This show is going to be a saucy mix of song, story telling, audience banter and more. Not much more, but a little bit more.

We love to chat with the “everyday people”, so leave a comment or a thought, and we’ll be sure to try and figure out how to reply.

Well, that’ll do it for now. I’m off to buy a sweater-vest.

- Benji Nelson